Almost Clean Adult ADHD Jokes was put together to lighten the burden of newly diagnosed ADHD adults. Not only will you enjoy the humor, but you will see many of your own traits here, which will provide you with valuable insights as to how others see you.
Laughter has many benefits, according to scientists. Among the many short-term effects of laughter are:
- Laughter enhances your oxygen intake, stimulates your heart, and increases the production of endorphins in the brain.
- Triggers your stress response by increasing, then decreasing, your heart rate and blood pressure, reducing some of the symptoms of stress on the body.
Among the many long-term effects of laughter are:
- Improves your immune system
- Negative thoughts cause the the body to produce chemical reactions that stress the body, affecting the immune system.
- Conversely, positive thoughts produce neuropeptides that fight stress, which boosts the immune system.
- Laughter eases pain when the body produces its own natural painkillers.
- Laughter improves personal satisfaction by making it easier to respond to challenging situations more efficiently by making it easier to connect with others.
- Laughter improves your mood by lessening stress, depression, and anxiety, and it helps to improve self-esteem.
Adult ADHD Jokes
Why did the scientist think his microscope has ADHD?
It can’t focus.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Who’s where?
How do you get an ADHD adult to clean the kitchen?
Assign them some homework.
Why didn’t the ADHDer cross the road?
He has no idea! He planned to, and suddenly the day was over.
What did one ADHD person say to another?
Everything!
I lost my sandwich…while eating it.
I lose my pen…while writing a sentence.
What is it like to be a comedian with ADHD?
Why is this font so small
I used to suffer from ADHD but outgrew, hey, look a Robin!
Do you have any good ADHD jokes?
What was the question again
I think I’m finally outgrowing my ADHD! This morning, I spent 15 minutes cleaning my kitchen, went on a 15-minute run, spent 1:15 talking with the neighbor, 45 minutes typing two sentences of an email, and 50 minutes discovering what’s in the middle of a gulf ball. But I finished the kitchen!
Do you have any good ADHD jokes?
What was the question again
My ADHD shrink asked me how many pull-ups I could do.
I told him if they’re orange flavored, I can do six in one sitting.
I looked up the definition of multitasking, but it didn’t agree with my explanation, which is doing something else while trying to remember what I was doing in the first place!
Yesterday, I asked myself if I might be going crazy?
The vote was unanimous, I wasn’t.
Yesterday, I saw a great article on ADHD.
What was it about?
I don’t know, I didn’t finish it.
I failed my drug test yesterday.
What happened?
I forgot to pee in the cup.
I was going to post an ADHD joke on the bulletin board this morning.
Why didn’t you?
I walked to the bulletin office and got held up by the professor…did you know that multi-colored cats are sterile?
I got distracted by a cat for 2 hours while running the bath water.
What do you call an ADHD website?
A hyperlink.
When your doctor diagnoses you with schizophrenia and ADHD, what does it mean?
It means you hear voices but not long enough to drive you insane.
Why can’t emo kids get ADHD?
Because they’re already scatterbrained.
What does ADHD stand for?
Attention Deficit HEY DOUGHNUTS!
What do we want? More research into a cure for ADHD! When do we want it?
What’s for dinner?
Did you hear about the suicide bomber with ADHD??
His brain was everywhere.
Patient: Doc, I think I have ADHD
Doctor: Why do you think that?
Patient: I can’t find my Ford.
Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.
Patient: Then why do I keep losing my Focus?
What do you call someone who worries that they might have ADHD?
A hyperchondriac.
Remember when ADHD was just ADD?
Me neither.
What do you call a date between someone with ADHD and someone with anxiety?
Hypertension.
What do you call a little person with ADHD in a washing machine?
Midget fidget spinner.
Why can’t someone with ADHD be a train conductor?
Because they lose their train of thought.
What type of orange juice do people with ADHD have trouble drinking?
Concentrate.
Wanna hear a joke about ADHD?
Where the Hell was I going with this?
I think I have OCD and ADHD!
Everything has to be perfect, but not for long.
My doctor told me I have ADHD!
I think he’s full of CRAP, and I’ll give you 10 reasons why Squirrels have a higher metabolism than Bluebirds.
Sometimes, thoughts in my head get bored, and go for a walk out my mouth. Crap, I’m in trouble again, aren’t I?
Have you ever gone out of the house and, while out, thought, this is why I don’t go out.
My wife asked me what I thought, and I had to lie. I couldn’t tell her that my mind was unusually quiet, and I feared what it was planning behind my back.
Sometimes, I want to put an “Out Of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day!
- Today’s To Do List:
*Make and drink coffee
*Stay focused
*Stay positive
*Don’t freak out
*Remember, stabbing people is wrong
*When I get to the door, I ask myself, am I wearing pants?
*Before I get to the car, ask myself if I know where the car keys are.
My wife asked me what was on my mind. Should I tell her that my mind is like an internet browser? 16 open tabs, five of them are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from!
Don’t bother walking in my shoes if you don’t understand me. That would be boring, but spending two minutes in my head should scare the Shit out of you!
ADHD Attention Jokes
What should a guest speaker never say to a room full of ADHD attendees?
May I have your attention, please
I bought a pair of shoes with memory foam, and I still can’t remember why I walked to the kitchen!
Laundry:
Washing: 50 minutes
Drying: 65 minutes
Folding: Two business days
Putting away: Four business days
My ADHD is getting much better. I just went into another room and remembered why I went there. It was the bathroom, but still…
Do you like guessing games?
Me too! I’ll make a list for the market, leave it on the counter, and then guess what’s on it at the store.
Wanna know what I got last year for Christmas after I was diagnosed with ADHD?
Distracted.
ADHD Meds
I have to take Amphetamines to make it look like I’m not on Methamphetamines!.
What do you call an ADHD medicine case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly?
An equal Adderall triangle.
What happens when you lose an ADHD pill in your Ford Fiesta?
It turns into a Ford Focus.
As an ADHD adult, I had trouble sleeping and didn’t want to take meds. My doctor recommended counting sheep.
1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 Cows, 5 Ducks, 9 Horses; Old MacDonald had a farm, and bingo was his name-o!
ADHD Kids
Why are ADHD kids so good in Trig?
Because they know how to throw a good temper tangent
How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Let’s walk the dog.
My doctor tried explaining why my kid’s ADHD is hereditary, but I couldn’t focus long enough to listen.
How do you tell if a kid has ADD/ADHD?
Ask them to pronounce “ADD”. If they pronounce it “add(+)” OR “A-D-D”, they don’t have it.
If they ask you to repeat the question, they have it.
What do you call a mean ADHD kid at school who exaggerates everything they say?
Hyper Bully.
Why do ADHD students cost the school more on average than normal students?
Because they cannot afford to pay attention.
Did you hear about the boy who bought a book on ADHD and finished reading it?
No, what happened?
Nothing, because it never happened.
A list prepared by a 3rd grader on the 10 worst things about ADHD?
1.
Conclusion
If you have any more ADHD jokes and want to add them, leave me a comment, and I’ll include them here. Even though there’s nothing wrong with us, being ADHD in a non-ADHD world is stressful enough. Make sure you take time to laugh every day!
Dr. Terry L Southjern
DrTerry@YouAndMeAndADHD.com
YouAndMeAndADHD.com
Adventures With ADHD, LLC
References
Staff, M. C. (2021, July 29). Stress relief from laughter? It’s no joke. Healthy Lifestyle. Retrieved September 1, 2023, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456
Amlee, J. (2023, July 1). 45 Funny ADHD Jokes & Puns To Trigger Laughs. Retrieved September 1, 2023, from https://humornama.com/jokes/adhd-jokes/
Grubaugh, C. (n.d.). ADHD Jokes. Retrieved September 1, 2023, from https://www.pinterest.com/cathleengrubaug/adhd-jokes/
I found this blog post to be truly captivating. The exploration of emotional intelligence, particularly the aspect of self-confidence, is highly intriguing. The practical tips provided for building self-confidence, including posture adjustments and NLP techniques, are valuable. Moreover, the emphasis on positive self-talk and envisioning a confident future self resonated with me. Overall, a thought-provoking and engaging read!
These jokes had me in stitches! 😂 Although I do not have ADHD, I do get that the struggle is real, and laughter is the best medicine. Do you have any personal favorite ADHD joke that always gets you chuckling? I’m always up for a good laugh! Great read and surely a refreshing one!
Laughter really is the best medicine. I don’t have ADD/ADHD, but I’m on the autistic spectrum. Not the same thing, I know. But still. I can relate. These jokes were pretty funny. They kind of turned dark and disturbing, though with the meds jokes and beyond. Do people really take meds for ADHD? They can’t possibly do any good, can they?
Hi Anna,
While I’m not a fan of indiscriminately prescribing ADHD meds, when needed, ADHD meds can mean the difference between success and failure! For folks with ADHD, meds can quiet the roar of the mind to where they can concentrate on what needs to be done. Meds alone are not the answer if used alone. When used in conjunction with measures to control the mind, meds can be an invaluable tool! Stimulants don’t work on folks with ADHD like they do with non-ADHD folks. For folks with ADHD, a stimulant in the right dosage relaxes the mind, not speeds it up as with non-ADHD folks.
I’ve never really come across jokes related to ADHD before, so this is quite new and interesting to me. The article mentions that these jokes are meant to lighten the burden of newly diagnosed ADHD adults. While humor can certainly help, I’m curious about how these jokes are generally received by people with ADHD. Do they find them genuinely amusing and relatable, or are there concerns about sensitivity surrounding such jokes?
Hi Skamalka,
For most folks with ADHD, these jokes are a way of laughing at ourselves while, at the same time, relating to many of them. The first ADHD joke I saw was a t-shirt with the letters ADHD arranged in the same font as the band AC-DC. Underneath in a smaller letter is “Oh look, a squirrel!” My wife bought the shirt because it describes me perfectly when I’m not focused or interested.
The ability to laugh at ourselves is vital to survival in most workplaces. I work with many other military veterans, who are notorious for what would seem to most folks as degrading or insulting barbs but, to us, are hilarious, especially ground-pounders like Marines vs. Army.
When jokes about ourselves come across as rude or insensitive, it is when someone who doesn’t know us aims it directly at us.
Sometimes, the hardest thing to recognize in ourselves is our shortcomings. When we hear a joke that we relate to, it tells us something about ourselves that we didn’t know. What we don’t know, we can’t fix!
I had a good laugh reading all these jokes and I think even if you don’t have ADHD I think you can relate. In fact some of them make me feel like I have ADHD as I find myself doing some of these things quite often – scary. I can relate to the one about asking yourself where the keys are before getting to your car.
I wonder how many adults out there don’t know they have ADHD and even if it is easy to diagnose in adults?
Studies have indicated that up to 50% of adult ADHD folks have not been properly diagnosed. Most of these ADHD adults have a pretty good idea, though. In this day and age of information overload, you would need to be a hermit living in a cave not to know at least some symptoms of ADHD!
As for limited symptomology, everyone has some ADHD symptoms sometimes, but with ADHD, it’s an all-the-time thing.
Diagnosing ADHD is not as easy as following guidelines. Since ADHD is a rewiring of the brain, it is difficult to pin down without using at least a couple of methods:
There is the test.There is the initial interview with a mental health professional trained to diagnose ADHD.There is a combined interview with the target person, parents, or spouse.
We lead different lives from different parents. We’ve had different experiences and education. These factors shape our personality and who we are or will become. Diagnosing ADHD is not simply a matter of taking a test. The test tells the mental health professional where to go from there.